Be Raped as You are Dressed…

Posted: April 19, 2012 in Itchy Fingers
Tags: , , , ,

Here I am, as usual, not minding my business on facebook when a friend of mine put up a statistic that is worrisome on its own: That every 26 seconds, a woman in South Africa gets raped. 26 seconds.Not 2.6 minutes. Not 26 minutes, Not 26 hours, 26 seconds. You can click on a 3:30 minute video on you-tube and by the time it has finished, 8 women would be raped somewhere in South Africa.

But…that was not the most shocking part. The part that got me sick to my stomach was what two males added as comments to this sad news. One said its women’s fault that the numbers are that high, that most cases were provoked because it is based on how women dress. One even said that the rapists should move down to Nigeria to tone down the way our women dress.

I really had to ask myself if what I was reading was truly there. I mean, 2 guys supported the case for every rapist and punished every victim by calling her a slut. Why? Because every woman that has been raped brought it down upon herself according to them. I may be going to the extreme saying that this is what they meant but I just can’t sit down and see those who expressed that as people with all faculties working in full gear.

Culled from google images

According to Randy Thronhill, Author of  A Natural History of Rape Biological Bases of Sexual Coercion, Rape is a crime of violence, not sex. As there are different types of rape which include Anger, Power and Sadistic rape, there is Gang rape and also Sexual Gratification. If anything, The “excuse” that rape is as a result to her dressing would most likely fall under sexual gratification. But look at it. It is just one of the types of rape that comes up and if I may use some very simple thinking here (just invented this calculation so bear with me), it would be one out of 5 types. Meaning  one out of five women being raped would be due to someone’s sexual drive or arousal. If I go back to my you-tube counter, it would mean that in every 2:10 minutes, a woman is raped, dropping the number of victims. So anyone using “dressing” as an excuse is down right heartless because it does not add up.

According to Randy Thornhill’s research on the psychology of convicted rapists, it was evident that many of the factors that repeatedly showed up was anger towards women and the need to subdue them. Other factors include…

…alcohol and other drug consumption, being more likely to consider victims responsible for their rape, being less knowledgeable about the impact of rape on victims, being impulsive and having antisocial tendencies, having an exaggerated sense of masculinity, having a low opinion on women, being a member of a criminal gang, having sexually aggressive friends, having been abused as a child and having been raised in a strongly patriarchal family.

A study by Marshall et al. (2001) found that male rapists had less empathy toward women who had been sexually assaulted by an unknown assailant and more hostility toward women than nonsex offenders and nonoffender males/females.

So ask yourself a huge question. Based on the study stated above, do you feel empathy towards a victim of rape? Check yourself really hard. Another question? If you are rapist, are you really that out of control of your body when you see a woman “dressed” to attract? If so, what then makes you different from the animals in heat? If it was based on how women dress, then explain to me why it has been used and still is used as a weapon of war? The Security Council of the United Nations noted that

Women and girls are particularly targeted by the use of sexual violence, including as a tactic of war to humiliate, dominate, instil fear in, disperse and/or forcibly relocate civilian members of a community or ethnic group.

Culled from Google images

Major-General Patrick Cammaert, former commander of UN peacekeeping forces in the eastern Congo said “it destroys communities totally. You destroy communities. You punish the men, and you punish the women, doing it in front of the men.” Adds Cammaert: “It has probably become more dangerous to be a woman than a soldier in armed conflict.”

If it was based on women’s dressing, then places like Arab countries should not have rape cases. But they do. Places like University of Maiduguri should never have cause for concern because most ladies are well dressed. I know. I schooled there. But I still heard of rape cases. We have heard of old women or even mentally disturbed women (popularly called mad women) being raped and I seriously doubt that their dressing had anything to do with it. And in most cases, rape is done by someone who knows the victim.

I worked on a story where a child of 4 was raped consistently by her uncle until the mother found out and got him locked up. She was 4.  How did the 4 year old dress that one would say she aroused a man sexually by her dressing?

How can you say that dressing is the main reason for rape? How can you utter it so confidently without any difficulties or a pinch in your conscience? It just means that somewhere down there, there is no iota of respect for women.

This brings up the rape video that allegedly to took place in Abia State University where 5 men raped one lady for a huge amount of time. Where many called for the blood of the rapists and all of a sudden, all has fallen silent. Would one say that she was raped because of how she was dressed? No. Sources say that it was because of how she spoke to one of the men and they went out of their way to punish her. Not because she was wearing the revealing dress that all 5 of them could not control the sudden urge to have immediate sex with her. If I recall, the transcript of the video, as I refused to watch it, said they took turns in raping her. Turns. From number 1 to 5. They didn’t all jump on her and fight for immediate entry all five of them, they took turns. and to make matters worse, they videoed it and shared it out to put her in further humiliation and serve as a warning to the “rude girls” out there. And yet one stands and declares that it is what women wear that make them victims of rape.

It is clear that women in most societies are still seen as objects that should be possessed. And if one defies, she must be tamed at any cost. Even with dressing. True, many things including dressing are sold with “sex”. The world is obsessed with how sexy one must look at every corner. Many would say it is Women empowerment, taking hold of her sexuality and being proud of it and I say hoorah, be proud of what you are, a woman with strengths and all. But even those who cross the line between being a sexually powered woman and a sex object still should not be subjected to a violent crime like rape. If you want it so bad, there are prostitutes in many corners ready to serve you, not that I am not in any way supporting it.

Rape, no matter the excuse, is a huge crime to a woman’s respect, diginity, importance, future, place and most importantly her purpose as the continuation of humanity and anyone guilty of that is as well guilty of murder.

  1. Lara Daniels says:

    I came over here out of curiosity mainly and to say thank you for the follow, then I came over here and read this. This post goes to show the massive ignorance… blaming the woman for being raped is completely senseless and it broke my heart (as it did yours) to read about what the two guys said. I tackled a bit of this problem in a book I wrote titled Forever and a Day…you should check it out when you can (it’s a free read). Hopefully, with more education, more people will get a better understanding on this horrible crime, There’s simply no excuse for it.

    • amsayaro says:

      Thanks Lara. you are right, there is simply no excuse. I will to read your book soon. I once thought of being writer. Maybe pick up later. But again for going my blog.

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